We do not promote divorce. No matter whether your better half comes home to tell you that he or she is no longer interested in saving your marriage, or you two have agreed to untie the knot amicably, or you are the only one who wants a divorce but haven’t found the best online divorce service yet, you are going to need a lot of patience. This is mainly because one of the trickiest things about ending marital relationships on paper is that this process can take much time.
From the moment one or both parties decide to file for divorce up until the moment their divorce decree is signed, it can take a few months or even years. And what most divorcing people lack is patience: they want to end their marriage IMMEDIATELY, but things don’t work that way! So, sooner or later, they find themselves crying, screaming, and whining in despair.
Given the said, divorce requires both parties involved in it to practice their patience, and prepare themselves that the process may take much longer than expected. Even today, when we have access to advanced technology and using a divorce service on the Internet is no problem, it may take a long time before you get what you want.
No matter how many weeks, months, or years your divorce takes, it is crucial to realize that there are neither loosers nor winners at the end of the day. Both partners leave their marriage with significantly less money than they had before separation. If there are any “winners” in divorce, these are those who are wise and patient enough to pull together with their spouses so that they can settle their issues out of court and maintain productive co-parenting relationships post-divorce. Below, there are a few useful tips for those who struggle to find peace with the waiting and want to go through the process without flying off the handle:
Take as much time as needed
Every time your ex, lawyer, mediator, or anybody else triggers you, don’t fall for it. Take your time to think about what is going on and what you have just been told. Make sure you respond only after you process all the feelings that you experience, be it anger, frustration, disappointment, etc. Avoid making any big decisions, especially those related to your kids and money, when your emotions are high. Don’t respond until you think very carefully about everything that is to be addressed.
Oftentimes, divorcing people tend to take it out on their ex, kids, attorney, and so forth; however, such behavior is unacceptable, especially when hot-button issues are considered. Therefore, it may make sense to seek help from a trained mediator, who will help you focus on important matters and resolve them step-by-step at your own pace.
Focus on the things that you are sure about
In a divorce, there may be so many things that you are not aware of, like where you will move, where you will get money to maintain your normal lifestyle, when your marriage will be over on paper, how your kids will feel living only with one parent, and so on. Sooner or later, you will find the answers; all you need right away is to wait for the right time to come.
For you to get back on track more easily, it is recommended to set goals for the future, do some budgeting, and consult a lifestyle expert if, of course, you can afford one. If you will need to look for a job in the nearest future, then don’t neglect to look through available opportunities right away, the sooner the better. Being engaged in the search will reduce the discomfort of waiting for your case to be resolved.
Most divorcing people tend to perform a few tasks simultaneously – preparing the needed documentation, looking for help filling out divorce forms, consulting with professionals, negotiating with their exes, etc. By doing so, they often lack both time and patience to complete all their tasks one by one. They live in chaos as they try to do all at once, and it is emotionally draining to feel that they make no progress.
Therefore, you should be mindful of everything you do and determine what exactly makes you impatient. This is how you can take it slow and concentrate on one task at a time instead of struggling to focus on many things that drive you crazy.
Listen to your support team
If you were lucky enough to assemble a good support team including your family, close friends, and professionals, then all you need to do is to listen to them attentively. If you fully agree with what they offer you, then follow the guidance with no questions asked. Trust your team and always listen to them. However, if your spidey-sense tells you that you shouldn’t agree with something, then don’t neglect to discuss your feeling with others. Keep in mind that they are here for you. Your opinion matters and good professionals will hear you out and do their best to address your all concerns. Getting things clear is crucial during a divorce.
To become more patient, you must realize that you are more reactive and irritable than you thought you were. As soon as you want to change, things will get easier on you. What you should never forget is that your life is and will be full of obstacles and therefore it is difficult, if not impossible, to avoid all situations that may make you feel like your patience is running out.